Perspicuity

Merchandise

Credit for the idea of this cartoon goes to the wonderful cartoonist James Cennamo.

We were sitting at the Someday Café. James was offering me lots of ideas for my book, and he suggested this cartoon. I didn't want to do it at first because I didn't think it fit my cartooning style. I finally decided to make a go of it. Glad I did.

Thanks, James!

Left to Right: Edward Kennedy, John Edwards, John Kerry

References - None (yet)
Merchandise

References - None (yet)
Merchandise - None (yet)

References - None (yet)
Merchandise

Merchandise

Essay - None (yet)
References - None (yet)
Merchandise

Essay - None (yet)
References - None (yet)
Merchandise

Nobody knows the precise date of Joan of Arc’s birth, but it is speculated to be roughly 10:34 PM, January 6, 1412. She was born the daughter of Jacques Darc, a tenant farmer, in the French village of Domremy Fasolati Do.

There seems to be no truth to the rumor (that I’m presently making up) that she had multiple personalities. She did, however, have numerous nicknames, including Joan of Arc, The Maid of Orleans, Sainte Jeanne D’Arc, La Pucelle D’Orleans, and Arc Tangent (apparently she was quite distractable).

Beyond that not much else interesting to say about her; she pretty much lived a typical Medieval peasant girl’s life: hears voices ... raises an army ... wins a decisive battle in Orleans that turned the tides of the Hundred Years’ War ... fails to capture Paris ... gets caught ... is betrayed by the very French leaders she was fighting for ... interrogated by the Inquisition ... convicted in a rigged trial ... burned at the stake in 1431 as a witch. Like that.

(As a side note, during the Middle Ages, the Church would never officially condemn anyone to death. According to Will Durant, in "The Age of Faith", the Church was to avoid "all bloodshed and all danger of death." Instead, they would sentence the convicted to the "due penalty," and turn them over to the state authorities. These folk would, in turn, heed the first part by burning the victim to death - hence not drawing blood - and ignore the second part.)

In 1456, Joan of Arc was declared innocent of all charges (oops). She was canonized in 1920 (made a saint, not part of a circus flying act). As of this writing, she is still innocent, still a saint, and still dead. If I had anything to do with it, her tombstone would say: Lived in glory, died in Rouen.

Because of the historic nature of this subject, I paid more attention than usual to designing her costume. Although you can’t see it, I gave her a pink slip; and to make the cartoon more appealling, I added some of those fancy French patterns to her uniform, 'cause nobody doesn’t like fleur-de-lis.

- July 2001

A milliner makes or sells ladies hats. The name probably comes from the obsolete word Milaner, for a native of Milan. Its usage dates back to 1530, when the British were getting some of their finer fashions from Milan. I got this information from the Oxford English Dictionary. We’ll have to take their word for it. They are word experts after all.

Expert. Where does this word come from? Obviously, it involves the roots ex for 'not' and pert for 'impudently bold.' Does this mean that the experts at the OED were once bold about words, but are no longer? If so, then why should I take advice from weak-kneed meaning-mongers?

I can come up with my own etymologies, thank you very much.

For example, I notice that the OED includes the word ner, which they define as an archaic use of the word nor. I suggest that milli-ner meant a thousandth (milli-) of a ner, as in "Neither this chicken, milli-ner that duck." In other words: "It’s definitely not the chicken, but there is a thousand to one chance that it might not be the duck either." Not a very strong statement.

In fact, people who frequently used milli-ner in their speech (I propose) came to be known for their lack of boldness, lack of pert, lack of enthusiastic flair or élan. A person who wanted to sell fashionable ladies' hats might have done well to have such a personality - especially when dealing with wealthy, upper class clients who would required you to be agreeable to the point of obsequiessence. Hence, they were dubbed Milliners.

Okay, my theory isn’t perfect. I’m still trying to work out why this word was ascribed to hat sellers as opposed to some other weak-kneed folk, like, say etymologists. Perhaps these word experts have more gumption than I gave them credit for. I’ll have to test this out the next time I meet one. I’ll walk up to him, humbly take my hat in my hand, point to his spirit and ask, "Is that your fine élan, sir?"

- April 2001