CLERK: Welcome to Plunderama. How may I help you?
BARBARIAN: Just these items, ma'am.
CLERK: Let's see what you have here: torches ... spears ... shields. Oooo, I bet you're going on a Roman Holiday.
BARBARIAN: Yes, ma'am, I am heading to Italy for a few days.
CLERK: Well, just make sure you go to Rome. I mean, Ravenna and Venice are nice and all, but the best razing, ravaging, and pillaging takes place in Rome. That's what all my customers say: Vandals, Goths, and Gauls alike.
BARBARIAN: And these...
CLERK: Crossbows ... longbows ... light bows ... and a full assortment of arrows. Would you like me to SuperSeize that?
BARBARIAN: Yeah, sure.
CLERK: That really is the best deal. I had this fellow come in a while ago... oh, where did he come from? Oh yeah, from Carthage then he came. I asked him if he wanted the larger size and he said no, Punic was fine. Thought he would save some money, but no, of course he came back for more, what, three times, I bet ya. Oh, he was trouble too. Tried to buy a Pack'o Derm without any ID.
BARBARIAN: I'm kind of in a hurry, ma'am.
CLERK: Oh, did you see we're having a special on Exploding Battering Rams? They really are the best bang for your buck.
BARBARIAN: No thanks, I'm trying to travel light.
CLERK: So is that everything?
BARBARIAN: I believe so.
CLERK: OK, so that'll be 3,275 denarii. Paper or plastic? Decline or fall?